I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE, BUT YOU MIGHT GIVE IT TWO BUTTS UP

That Lay's ad with the potato guy who answers questions is soooooo dumb. Why would anyone call a potato farmer with questions about anything other than potatoes? ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLAACCCCCCCKKKKKKK

Not real. So fake. I re-read this entry and the good stuff is after this Blossom paragraph. I should just delete it, but my mom taught me never to waste anything, especially "poorly written, uninteresting rants on Blossom." After she told me that, she taught me how to make spaghetti!

Liv rented "Blossom" and I've been watching a few episodes alongside. That show holds up really well and it's kind of strange how you don't see it in syndication ever because it seems the type of show that the Christian channel would enjoy. Joey Lawrence is so funny, and Joey from 'Friends' is a blatant rip off. I knew I was going to talk about Blossom, but it turns out I don't have much to say. When I was a kid I thought Six was hottototototot. I guess I thought Blossom was pretty cool. This is the worst paragraph on Blossom you've ever read and I apologize. My mind is on the pending super trip to NYC, which started as a trip to go see a couple of Leaf games, and has turned into a trip where we do a comedy show with a bunch of friends. I couldn't even explain that correctly. But yeah, we rented out a place and we're doing our own show and people are coming to do it that we know. That didn't help. I'm too impatient to explain the whole thing and you might not even care.

Weird Al doesn't get enough respect. That guy has been the undisputed champion of parody songs for like 30 years and no one has even tried to take him on, even though what he does is so simple. So next time you're at your relative's house and everyone is talking politics and Barack Obama, give a little mention of Weird Al and defend him to the death, because the man deserves it. Or not. He just makes fun of songs. Does he really deserve it? Just kidding, of course he does. One of the best of all time.

You know that lady that gave birth to 8 kids but she already had six and she's a single mom and everyone is like "fuck you lady, no Gerbers food for you, idiot". Don't you get the feeling just by looking at her that she wanted all those kids to be famous? Can't you see it in her eyes? Did you click that link? She's trying to be Angelina Jolie. The authorities should step in. Then again, you can blame TLC for all of this. Them and that song that plays during promos, you know? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE DUM DA DA DA DA IT'S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.



That's the most puke inducing, bowl emptying song of all time. Where's Weird Al when you need him? IT'S A POO FILLED WIFE, IT'S A POO FILLED WORLD. That's a half decent parody. I don't get how someone can write those words (not the poo ones, the real ones) and seriously bring them to the other members of the band and the band is like "yeah, good lyrics, really pretty." I've not a sincere person and I think sincere song lyrics are really cheesy almost all the time. That's why I like a lot of instrumental music I think. Lyrics and singing ruin songs so often, unless the singer is amazing and the lyrics are profound or very silly.

Next time someone you know is in a coma for a while, please set up a time lapse camera so we can see their hair grow really fast. That would be so cool! Cooler than the time lapse boner and more kid friendly. Although the whole coma thing sort of darkens the experience.

Okay, so while I'm away I'm not going to be writing in here, but I am going to set up a post for each day next week beforehand so you still have something to read when you bring your computer to the bathroom to take a "D". I promise to take a lot of pictures and when I get back and expect long winded recaps of the week's events. I'm hungry! Pass the pork sauce! See you the week after this week coming up when I'll be away, remember?!