February 19, 2009


Almost today in LiveJournal history:

Feb 16 2002:

hey andy here's some inspiration for you new project:

{medium angular shot of Kron and door}

Enough Chit Chat now for the briefing...

[jefferson stumbles in with coffee, spilling a lot]

Jefferson: I got you your coffee sir. its pretty hot, hot as that sex i had with Double D Darla from Level 7 [trips, spills all over]

Jefferson you bumbling idiot, I'll paint your testicles with honey and send you off to the planet of the bees!
[backhands him to the ground] If you weren't the Prime Minister's second cousin I'd have you demoted to cleaning Cementhead's ass. {whole room wide shot} [everyone winces and shifts in their seats. Cementhead looks around and doesn't understand, Knight quietly laughing to himself]

I didn't know whether to explain that thing up there first or wait until after. I decided to wait until after.

So that up there is a small piece of a screenplay that myself and friends Andy and Charles wrote one day in high school after watching "12 Monkeys". All it took to get started was Chuck noting that he wished he were a "future assassin" so we decided to write a sci-fi, time travel epic called "Future Assassin". In this classic scene our two heroes, "Kevin Knight" and "Cementhead" are in their boss Den Kron's office when bumbling idiot and comic relief "Jefferson" stumbles in. Other classic scenes involved Knight hitting a guy in the nuts with a boxing glove that springs out of a briefcase and a cool montage of our heroes equipping for a simulated battle while AC/DC's "The Razor's Edge" plays. The script and outline was lost long ago, but it remains a fond memory and an important page in the history of mankind. Please also note that once we went over to Chuck's house and he had assembled a Kevin Knight costume that consisted of sunglasses, a Pepsi leather jacket and a Super Soaker.

It totally feels like Friday. This is unjust. I can't do two more days, especially with a lavish holiday on the horizon.

I love trying new things, but when it comes to deodorant, I'm an Old Spice man. I've tried other brands, but nothing masks stench like the old boat brand. Today I bought a new stick and I couldn't be happier. The first deodorant I ever bought was Speed Stick gel. What a mistake. Who thought that gel was a good idea?

"How about instead of the classic solid stick, we give the customer what they want - some cold goo."

"Who hired you?"

"I'm the son of the guy who owns this place. Now, how about we make a deodorant that smells like rubber?"

The reason I know that is because I used to work for Speed Stick but then Shopper's Drug Mart gave me $100 to steal deodorant recipes for their "Life" brand. I sold them that conversation for an extra five. Now you can download it for free, today only.

I'll be back tomorrow with plenty more stories regarding the under arm and I'll tell you about some other stuff too. In the meantime I'm going to go to work and think about where I want my dinner to be purchased from.

1 comment:

Blogger said...

Do you love Pepsi or Coke?
ANSWER THE POLL and you could get a prepaid VISA gift card!

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