ACHING TO GET OUT OF THIS MICROWAVE

If you're anything like me, you visit the news stand once a month to pick up a bag of Spitz dill pickle sunflower seeds, three Crunchie Bars, and the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine. This month's issue has a spread that profiles a whole bunch of rich, young, attractive heirs and heiresses, which I will now talk about a bit.

That 'spread' link up there actually links to the article, it's not like a thing that will take you to a picture of marmalade or anything like that. Stop freaking out.

Anyway, when flipping through this thing I mostly took notice of the occupations that each of these lucky dogs have because these guys don't need to work so they could basically choose to do anything they want. It's like when you buy a Crush Rainbow Pack and get to observe people's taste in soda. Grape loses most of the time. Grape is the factory job of the Rainbow Pack. I of course also checked out how hot they were.

It seems most of these people are in fashion or some sort of art like acting. The fashion thing really bothered me because it seems to be this sort of club full of rich, attractive people who give each other high paying jobs that involve choosing some other rich person's pants. "The Hills" would be a good example of the same thing, although it's more a TV show than a real life depiction of 'work'. I'm not talking about the whole fashion industry, just that upper crust that only the privileged and connected seem to gain entrance to.

I think the artists are alright because I like art and you have to be talented to be recognized, so they can't just ask daddy for a job or anything like that. The best guys were those who chose to be philanthropists for obvious reasons.

I think the reason why this article kind of irked me is because I hate it when people get recognized for just being who they are rather than what they accomplish. Some of these people have accomplished a lot but only because of their pedigree. I'm more interested in people who come from nothing to achieve things. I'm also jealous. Big time irk on that one. Full admits.

Let's put opinions aside and instead talk about something stupid and gross.

Want to picture something really gross? Imagine someone is sitting on the toilet doing the thing you do on the toilet and then they get someone else to sit on their lap and do the same thing between their legs? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOSSS. I bet someone has done that. Let's call it the "Ice Cream Sandwich".