May 26, 2009


Yesterday I was in the bathroom to get some water to feed my plants, when I saw a huge wasp or bee in the sink. I don't hate bees that much, but I'd rather they left me alone, so when I saw one of the hive's most brawny soldiers buzzing all up in my wash basin, I drew the line.

They can sting and buzz and fly and pollinate and have fun all over the outdoors for all I care, but houses and plumbing are human inventions and thus human domains, places where bugs are fugitives and we are the law. In our homes we operate under the laws of Darwin, and since we're the biggest, strongest beings around next to great apes, bears and jungle cats, it's not uncommon for a bug to be sentenced to death over a simple trespassing charge.

So yeah, I washed his striped ass down the sink... or so I thought. When I went back to the sink after watering a plant, the yellow and black son of a queen had managed to somehow crawl its way back up. It was frantically flapping its wings to get dry and presumably fly at me for a death sting, so I smacked it with a magazine and went on with my day.

The moral of this story is to never quit. And if an ape, a bear or a jungle cat end up in your house or your sink, it's fair game. You'll probably end up getting eaten and there's nothing you can do about it unless you know magic or how to fight large creatures.

INTERNET UPDATE with your host Ponm Hasgrovve

Hi I'm Ponm, host of this new segment called "INTERNET UPDATE" made possible by a generous grant from Kellogg's and the New Hampshire Institute of Automobiles.

Recently, popular Canadian newspaper for grandpas, "The Globe and Mail" updated their website with a new look. BONER ALERT. When I checked it out for myself, I found this curious graphic on a sidebar, which I took a screen shot of:

If I were running my own popular news site, which I of course will one day, I wouldn't publicize the new "look" using a picture of the site superimposed with a weird lookin' dude who looks like he just ate lemons. It sort of 'sours' the whole thing. I write for Wired, no big deal. It's like if the New York Yankees publicized their brand new stadium with this:

New Yankee Stadium. Bike Courier Todd Snell has more, Section A1
Thank you!

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