November 26, 2008


This is post number one hundred. Since I rarely see things through from beginning to end, I'm fairly proud of myself. But don't fret! This isn't the end my friends, but more of a beginning to another end that will come at post two hundred that will be another beginning to get to three hundred and so on until one thousand comes and maybe then I'll quit depending on how old and successful I am. What's a bigger deal, one hundred posts or the BIG one year anniversary? One hundred posts sounds better but the one year anniversary is more nostalgic. I fear my "YEAR IN REVIEW SPECIAL STARRING HOLLYWOOD'S HOTTEST 30 UNDER 30" because this has been kind of a crummy year for me, relatively speaking of course. <-----------There's your spoiler for the YEAR IN REVIEW SPECIAL STARRING HOLLYWOOD'S HOTTEST 30 UNDER 30, coming in December or January. I can't remember when this started and I don't feel like checking.

Every so often I think like this:

"What's up with Doctor Who? It's beloved but I've never watched it. Would I like it? Probably. Am I going to watch it? Probably not. What's it about anyway?"

Then I read a description of the show and I think:

"That sounds sort of confusing. I'll stick to something a little less complicated thank you very much!"




I finally watched some Doctor Who and it was rock solid with cherries on top served in a miniature Milwaukee Brewers baseball helmet for $3.99 plus applicable taxes for a limited time only in select stores nationwide (Dairy Queens). Yeah dude. It was the Doctor I remember when my dad used to watch it: The Tom Baker years. It was sort of like watching Star Trek but more silly and Tom Baker is like Gene Wilder plus Sherlock Holmes plus a 40 foot scarf plus a whole lot of teeth. I think I'd really enjoy sitting around my parent's house during the holidays watching a SHIT LOAD of Doctor Who with a stocked fridge of cold meats and cheeses at my disposal. Olives too. The salty personality is a perfect companion to a lazy Christmas day. HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING, GLORY TO THE OLIVE KING! And to think I nay sayed olives for most of my life!? I should be tried of heresy! I should be sentenced to the depths of the brine prisons of Olivegard, the white city in the kingdom of Pickled Delights, which is probably in Italy, I don't know. To sum things up, my interest in Doctor Who has piqued and olives are great.

It really bad when you feel like garbage and the weather is garbage and you're like "Ah man I thought you were on my side". Then when you're really happy and the weather stinks you're like "cheer up pal, you'll get better" and then when the weather is nice and you stink you're like "thanks for trying pal, I'll try to cheer up but I'm not making any promises". I usually feel shitty when I'm stagnant. I felt really stagnant earlier today. Stagnant water births mosquitoes and stagnant Glenn breeds bummer times, so same thing really.

You never here people say positive things about mosquitoes like they do bees or spiders. Mosquitoes are the B4-4 of the insect kingdom (no love) while bees and spiders are more like Justin Timberlake - there's a lot of people who hate him but most think he's a-ok. Actually, they're more like Wilco - people are divided on alt country. I don't know, you get it right? I don't need another example. I personally don't like bees and spiders but I respect their work. Mosquitoes can all burn in hell for all I care. Fuckin vampires. Stupid idiots. I'll make you itchy you shithead, see how it feels. If the world worked liked mosquitoes did it would suck. Every time I get hungry I make someone itchy. Want some popcorn? ITCH. Some salad? SCRATCH. Fuck you. You make summer as well as exotic locales shitty. Nobody likes you. You were born in a shitty pond that no one likes.

I think we all learned a lot of valuable stuff today. Try to use some of my advice in real life situations, okay? That was a test. There was no advice. Go back and read it over again. Don't skip the olive part this time.

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