AN HISTORIC A HISTORIC NIGHT

The election is tied and this guy is the only one left to vote



Just joking. That's a movie about a guy who gets to decide who wins. He is America. Steaks and trucks and heartlands and dusty old things.

This is a pretty big night obviously but it sort of makes me mad that Canadians are way more into this election than our own. I guess it's because everyone who ran in Canada was pretty much a clown, while Obama is a guy that us young people feel good about. I once did a joke on stage about Obama looking like Panthro from Thundercats. He doesn't really all that much but you can compare anyone to a character from Thundercats and it'll get a laugh. Your mother is so old, she makes Mumra look like Dakota Fanning. WHOA. Are you pissing right now? Are you pissing big time? After you change your pants come back and I'll tell you what I did today. That's the extent of my election coverage here on WIDAHIA. Those of you who still have clean pants, why don't you follow me my secret spot and we'll talk some more.



Make your way down the bamboo ladder and give the babe of the pond a kiss on the cheek. Then swim on through that cave.



Answer the sea nymphs' riddle. The answer is probably "Big Deal" but sometimes they trick you and all you have to do is say your name. You'll know what I'm talking about when you hear it.



This is kind of a weird picture.



Come out of this dirty old log and my tent is pretty much right there. I cooked some hare last night you can have. I don't really like it. Okay, so this morning I went to Top Cuts to get a trim. For the last while I've been cutting my own hair, so it kind of felt like when you go somewhere fancy and they pamper you and take your coat and shine your boots you know? When I got there I actually used the phrase "take a little off the top". Then myself and the stylist complained about the TTC. Then I had a red lolli. I thought I'd expand on my haircut but really that's all that happened. Not like that time at a different Top Cuts when the stylist's boyfriend was a cagefighter who owned several snakes. Do you think guys like that sometimes stop and think, "I'm doing it. I'm really doing it. I'm a badass cool dude. Cagefighter? Check. Snakes? Check. Blonde girlfriend with big cans? Check."

I had a dream last night that I went back in time and hung out in Kurt Cobain's bedroom with all the fellas. Dave, Kurt, Krist, a young Josh Homme for some reason only he looked like Deke Wilson for some reason. Remember that show? Deke Wilson? He was a cool teen detective solving crimes in the suburbs. Really cool dude.

What do you do with a Remembrance Day poppy after Remembrance Day? It feels weird throwing it out, but if you keep it for next year it kind of defeats the purpose. I guess you're supposed to just throw them out.