November 10, 2008


My anger over Saturday night's debacle has subsided. Party on guys!

It may be several months until next year's Halloween, but everyone's talking about it! Heck, my mom just bought a new spooky wreath from the seasonal store on sale. My dad made 8 quarts of Spiced Pumpkin Soup. He puts little crackers in it! As for myself, I already have a costume - a PhYsIoTherAPisT (SCaARRYyy). Here's a Halloween '09 treat, served hot and fresh courtesy of my production company, Hamburger Films.

What a fright! Orginally my man Dermot Mulroney was going to play the lead, but he went to the Leafs game instead. Don't worry we're still friends. He once gave me this gold ring for my birthday and I was like "what the hell?" and he said "nonono, don't be humble, I give all my best friends gold rings so that at any given time, wherever I am on Earth, I can look at my ring, think about the circle of friends, smile to myself and get on with it." I didn't cry after that but I shook for a while.

After 3 years at my same job, I'm finally starting to think about GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. I never thought I would, but it seems companies don't like guys with arts degrees and not much practical experince in anything but selling pools, hauling garbage, and proofreading press releases. Who knew? At least it'll give me something to talk about. I've been stretchin' it lately with tales of haircuts and trying to sleep. If I were your boring uncle you'd be really bored:

"Hey (insert your name) it's me, your uncle (insert uncle's name). What have you been doing lately?"

"Same stuff man."

"Well let me tell you about a haircut I got recently. It's shorter now! I went in there and got a haircut and lollipop like a little boy haraharharharharh."

"That was a bad story uncle."

"You thought that was bad? Yesterday all I did was read Calvin and Hobbes and made stew. It all started at 10am. I found a Calvin and Hobbes treasury in my neighbour's garbage. I sat by my window on a grey and quiet afternoon. First I was bored. Then I got sort of happy. Then bored again."

"Did you bring me a birthday present or not?"

"'Course I did! Calvin and Hobbes treasury!"

That story takes place on your birthday. I have good uncles though, so this story only applies to you and your dumb uncles.

In conclusion, November is a bad month for weather, but good for North American sports action. Tomorrow is Rememberance Day, so everyone go buy a poppy and kiss a veteran. I've done one of those things so far but I won't tell you which until next time!

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