KEEP THREE PENNIES FOR YOURSELF AND GIVE THE REST TO GREGOR

Do you ever walk home from somewhere on a weeknight and it's kind of early and you see all these people who seem to be going off to wild parties and you think, "Where could these people be going?" like you can't think of a time that you've been out that wild on Tuesday or whatever? That happened to me like 8 times last night. I don't even party like that on weekends anymore, let alone a Monday night.

Have you ever met a cool 'Linda'?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I forgot to mention one thing in my NYC recap. When we went to that trendy Mexican restaurant, we had this corn that was the best corn. It was grilled, and then rolled in this mixture of cheese, spices and lime and bound all together with mayo which also made it stick to the corn. Have you ever had corn of this sort? If you ever get the chance dive right in and your mouth will kiss your mouth. I guess for your mouth to kiss your mouth all you have to do is make sure your mouth is closed. You could tongue the inside of your mouth. French yourself guy. But only after you eat this delicious corn. Or after any other fabulous meal. Give yourself a smooch. Roast beef dinner? Kiss away. Cherry pie? Big time tongue.

It's getting to that point in the year where the last cold day is fast approaching. You never know when it'll be but you can feel it in the air, and every time you leave the house you cross your fingers and tap your dick for luck, and then you get outside and have to go back inside to get your toque because it's still cold and you're pissed. It's all March's fault. It happens every damn year. You try to convince yourself that March isn't a big deal and it's still going to be cold but there's always one really nice day that makes you think it'll stay that way forever, but it never does. Do you share my view, all of you who live in seasonal places? March stinks, right? Maybe it has something to do with the phenomenon known as 'March Break'. When you're a kid growing up in Canada you get a week off in March so you look forward to that shit as soon as Christmas is over. And your mom would always have activities planned and you'd go to the Museum and you'd watch movies and it was the best. Then when it was over you were even closer to springtime. So maybe it's lodged in our psyche. I think that's a good analysis. I'm right. I've decoded the DaVinci cypher thanks to cunning and this hot babe who followed me around and who knows French.

Speaking of which, I know a lot of intellectuals like to knock that book. The DaVinci Code that is. But man, when I read it I loved it! I'm not claiming to be an intellectual, but I do read a lot and I'm not a stupid idiot or anything and I thought the book was a roller coaster ride. I read it in last year university and I remember not being able to put it down and being on the edge of my seat. It was like reading a good movie. But the movie was terrible. I can turn my nose up at the movie no problem. Snobsnobsnob.

That's all for today. My mind was elsewhere so there was a lot of undeveloped ideas, but I hope you still had a fun time. Come back tomorrow please. I have a good list of topics going that will make you spin in your seat and you might fart with excitement and wonder.