March 13, 2009


Before launching into anything remotely serious, let us first delve into the silly. Remember when I was talking about the DaVinci Code the other day? Well it seems my investigative mind has solved yet another cypher - that of the letter "B". Instead of explaining the complex mathematics involved in reaching my conclusion using words, I thought it would be more fit to demonstrate visually:

See that!? If you turn the letter 'B' around one quarter turn, you get a visual representation of two of the letter's most famous words! BOOBS. BUTT. B. Isn't that neat? That stuff coming out of the B Butt is either poo or a fart. Use your imagination. In conclusion, the letter 'B' was specifically designed to represent a butt and some boobs, sort of like how in the DaVinci Code all those symbols mean vaginas and girls and Mary. CASE CLOSED. Eat your FART out Tom Hanks. mar mar mar.

Have you guys seen that new commercial for Australia? Let me see if I can find it...


I did find it! And wouldn't you know it? Directed by BAZ fuckin' Luhrmann

That makes sense. I hate this ad. Here are the reasons why:

First of all, they wasted their damn money. You don't need to advertise Australia. Everyone wants to go there. Who doesn't? It's exotic, it's warm, it's beautiful, they speak English there, they're nice, they're funny, they like beer, they're attractive, they have funny animals... and the list goes on. And if you are going to advertise Australia, don't waste $2.5 million dollars, or however much that monstrosity up there cost, just spend a few bucks and simply remind people that Australia exists. Here's my Australia ad:

Yeah, it's still a great place, come see

Second of all, doesn't this ad remind you of that part in the Mr. Plow episode of the Simpsons when Homer pays for an ad and it's all weird and stupid? Like it's overly artistic? That's what this ad is all about and I'm not at all surprised that Baz is behind it. I hate everything that guy has ever done.

I'd love to go to Australia one day, but if I do go I hope I meet people like this:

and not people like this:

For all you statistic dweebs, I was checking out Stat Meter and noticed that the most popular Google image that brings people to this blog is a picture of pizza that I used in this post. This once again proves the wonderful things that pizza can do. It also shows that pictures of pizza are in high demand for some reason. Not chicks, pizza.

And that's all. This weekend I'm going to Sarnia to visit Liv's dad and then on Sunday I'm very excited to be hosting "The Loner Show" at the Rivoli at 9pm. Come by if you want and watch me host for the first time on my favourite show. It's a night of solo comedy without standup. Now you're up to date! Enjoy a weekend on me.

FRIDAY THE 13th, YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Duke of Spook said...

Ignore the large font size at the one part. I can't fix it. Hi!

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