MORNING IN POO CITY STARTS STINKY BUT FRESH

I spent the bulk of the weekend in Sarnia Ontario to visit some of Liv's family. She's from there. We took Toronto's TTC subway to Mississauga first to pick up my old man's car. Once in the suburbs we were immediately greeted by my mommmmma with fresh pumpkin bread she made, which I imagined as being fuel for me! Fuel for car is gas. Fuel for Glenn is pumpkin bread. Car had fuel, Glenn had fuel, time to hit the road.

We listened to Howard Stern all the way to through Southwestern Ontario as the vehicle is equipped with Satellite radio. Here's a quick pic of said car that I took when we stopped for some delicious nectarines at a local hot spot:



hahahahahahahahaha that's kind of like prop comedy.

I wish I could say something interesting happened on the way there, but it's one of the most boring drives ever and I almost fell asleep.

We arrived safely and went to Wendy's and Value Village, where I bought a new shirt with a jet plane on it, then had a SOLID visit full of chips and wine and beers and talking and dinner. When night fell we took in that movie "Man On Wire" about this crazy man who tightropes across the World Trade Center. This is a great film and you should all watch it, especially those of you who are into tightrope walking. But don't worry, you don't need to be to enjoy it. It's a documentary and if you're scared of heights this will make you go WAWAWAWAWAWA. I'm scared of heights and I said that.

The next day we left early because I wanted to make it to my ball hockey game. We listened to more Howard Stern and I felt like a guy who just went on a roller coaster after eating a lot of pickles and cinnamon because his friends dared him. So yeah, my stomach felt cruddy big time. That's what I meant up there with the whole pickle thing. I didn't want to simply say "I felt like shit" because that's not what wins championships. Anyway, I thought the stomach thing might have been because I was nervous for the show I was to host that evening. That's what I'm talking about next. It turns out my stomach was really shitty. Once nervousness was stripped, shitty feeling remained. Onward!

Doing comedy on stage by yourself is a very tough thing to do. You don't really get a chance to bounce your ideas off anyone beforehand so you don't know if it's going to be funny and when you're up there and things go awry you can't turn to anyone and blame them. I was very prepared for this show and all things considered, I wasn't too nervous about it. And I think it went pretty darn well. I got looser and looser as the show went on, maybe a bit too loose toward the end, and people laughed, which is the goal, along with having TOTALLY hot babes pat you on the bum bum after. I only got one from Liv, but one is all you need. I'm usually really hard on myself, so if I thought it was good, it probably was.

All in all it was a very successful weekend. Everything that happened combined with the weather making a turn for the better allows me to give this weekend 5 Oxi Clean guys out of a possible 6!

1 guy
2 guy
3 guy
4 guy
5 guy
out of 6 guy

Tune in tomorrow for my St. Patrick's Day special featuring music by "The Green Irish Beer and Potato Lucky Shamrock Stereotype Band" and a message from non Irish celebrity, former NBA superstar Scottie Pippen. If you don't have to go to work today then don't. Why go if you don't have to right? I have to.