March 6, 2009


One thing I love to do is observe normal people who get on TV. Not like some guy who's walking down the street and gets asked about the stock market or the Leafs by the news, but someone who gets on a talk show because they're a bird expert or someone who's a comedian who talks about pop culture and how Amy Winehouse eats gravel instead of food or whatever. Because these normal people or "muggles" or "regulars" or "borings" view being on TV as being a HUGE deal, which it is in a sense, and knowing that thousands of people are going to see them, they try to look their very best. They put on their best outfit, they get their best haircut and they put in their sparkliest earrings, so when you see them on TV you're seeing them in their ideal visual mode. It's sort of like when you go into the Matrix. What does Morpheus call it? 'Residual Self Image'? Here's what Wikipedia has to say:

'Residual self image is the concept that individuals tend to think of themselves as projecting a certain appearance.'

Get it? You can't really judge someone by what they wear to work or at home or even out a bar because there are certain rules that govern each of these instances. When I go to a bar I'll dress sexier than I normally do and when I'm at home I don cottons and slippers to maximize relaxation. But on TV one can wear whatever one wants and I think it's interesting to see the choices people make in deciding their ultimate look. So when you're on TV you're basically in the Matrix. That's my thesis.

This doesn't apply to everyone though. Some people look good all the time and some people look like a pile of shit all the time. Charles Darwin defined the rest of the population as "chameleons", based on the popular creature of the same name that can change its colour based on its environment. I'm somewhere in between garbage and chameleon. I can clean up when needed. Check this out:

What a dream car! I wish I still had that sweater vest and that much hair, but time can be a really shitty guy sometimes and I don't hold grudges (against time). Let's do a quick comparison:

I'm gettin' old! That other picture was taken about 4 years ago and that one right there was taken a minute ago. Enough about me. This is getting too vain. Except while we're on the subject, should I get a beard again? I like a beard, except once I get one I can't stop touching it and the girl who likes me most doesn't enjoy it at all. But I'm no slave. I can do whatever I want. I'm too indecisive. I could go on a big rant about how my indecisiveness is the cause of my current career woes but I'll save that for another day.

Is that enough?

Yeah I guess. I think today was insightful and I hope next time you see a normal person on TV you take notice of how the person looks, because it's a great opportunity to see someone how they want you to see them 100%. I repeated my thesis there like in a solid essay. Now I need to close leaving the reader with something to think about. Did you know that pearls melt in vinegar? I just read that!

By the way, you know when you see a crazy guy out in public somewhere and he or she is staring at you and in the back of your mind you're like "I hope that person isn't looking at me because they want to kill me" but they don't end up killing you? That's exactly what happened with that beheading on the Greyhound bus, except the guy got killed! The killer said he chose the guy he did because the victim gave him a glance or something and then God told him to kill. So I'm never smiling at a crazy person again just to be nice. I'm just going to split. Case closed. Judge decided. Gavel down.

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