March 20, 2009


You know when a new technology comes out and at first it's really expensive, and so you wait a couple of years until it's way cheaper? Imagine some guy did that with the Internet? But he (or she I guess) was like "I'm going to wait until this thing gets REALLY good". And then he goes on the Internet today finally and wasn't all that impressed? I wonder what part of the Internet they'd find most useful and/or fascinating...

I'll bet they'd be most impressed with ordering things online, or something simple like that. They'd be very underwhelmed by Facebook and Social Media and all that I bet because they wouldn't understand it at first and since they've probably heard people talk about it a lot it would be a big let down. They'd like porno, but be mad that a lot of it you have to pay for because they wouldn't know where to get it for free right away. I think he'd like all the general information. I think that's why I like the Internet the most. If back in the old days you needed to know something stupid you'd either have to call someone, go to the library or consult an encyclopedia, which only rich people had. The game has changed. I can find out anything right now. Watch this:

"When was Hulk Hogan born?" August 11 1953.
"How big do beavers get?" Depends. Are we talkin' North American Beaver, European Beaver, or GIANT BEAVER:

"The North American Giant beaver (Castoroides ohioensis) was one of the largest rodents that ever evolved. About the size of a small American Black Bear, it disappeared along with other large mammals in the Holocene extinction event, which began about 13,000 years ago."

That's totally awesome.

What a good, thoughtful intro!


Vacuum bags! We have this vacuum that's not a major brand (dirt devil, hoover, your mom ahahahahaha because she sucks ahahahahah) and I realized that there's no bag inside so all the dirt gets stored in the vacuum itself, which isn't right. Not having any experience with vacuums, I bought some bags from Canadian Tire that looked closest to the ones depicted on the vacuum. I then found out that bags are very specific to specific vacuums. I found the bags I needed on the Internet, but the shipping costs were astronomical, so I called a couple stores in Toronto. The first guy barely spoke English and told me he needed the model of the vacuum before he could help me although I already told him. Then he said to call back when his brother, who speaks better English, comes back. What kind of a business is this? "I'm going on vacation. Benji, you're in charge"

"I don't speak English bro"
"Yeah well we sell vacuums and vacuum accessories. It ain't brain science"
"What's a brain?"
"Ah geez"

I called another man and he said he'd check with his suppier. He actually called back and said no go. So I'm either going to have to pay up the "wazoo" for vacuum bags off the internet, keep using it with no bags, or buy a new vacuum that someone's heard of (Hoover, Dirt Devil, you, because you're popular!!).


My friend Jon has a comedy team with a girl named Amy called "Life of a Craphead" and they just got back from a comedy tour on the west coast, and last night was their homecoming. The first half of the show I was sitting on the floor and it was crowded and my ass hurt so bad because my ass has no padding, hence taking pictures was impossible. The second half I wised up and leaned against a wall. Here's a picture of Jon and Amy doing their "thing":

I had two beers.

I love Skittles so much and I hate the Bud Light commercials with Budd Light so much. Have a good weekend and don't stay up past 4 pm.


kay zee said...

What kind of vaccuuuuuum?

Duke of Spook said...

It's called an Allstar Javelin. It's a solid vacuum.

lmac said...

try calling these guys: if they have some i can pick them up for you.

Duke of Spook said...

too late. I caved and ordered them off the internet

dj_sports said...

Remember when you told me to stay away from vacuums without bags because the filters were so expensive? Turns out you only need to replace the filters like once every year and here you are spending an arm and a leg for vacuum bags. P.S. Jess' mom got us a non-bag vacuum and its the best.

Duke of Spook said...

My sister told me that. LAURA! What's the deal??

lmac said...

it's a hot topic, bagged vs. bagless, but i think bagged is better and i have a bagless. bagless machines are built to be pretty much disposable. the machines sell for like 100 bucks, but the filters cost around 30 each. they're like printers and printer cartridges. vacuum bags cost less than 2 dollars each and the machines themselves last way longer.
work is slow right now so i've done a little internet research...
Performance degrades the longer you use a filter (up to a year), whereas you change the bags way more often (about monthly) meaning the peak performance cycles are way shorter (refer to graph on In addition, the mess is all contained in the bags; when you empty a bagless canister, a lot of dust goes into the air.

i think you'll come out ahead with your allstar. although it doesn't have a hose, right? a hose is a nice feature.

Duke of Spook said...

Thanks Laura! Take that Hull.

I was in a bathroom of a bar on Saturday and in urinals there are these little mat things and the brand of the little mat thing was Allstar. So my vacuum is like a hardcore janitorial supply model.

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