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June 19, 2009

EYE BALL SLAMMER (RUM, TEQUILA, KOOL AID, JUNIPER BERRIES SERVED OVER ICE)

For the last month or so, my stomach issues subsided, leaving me smiling and waving at grandmas, doggies and children all day long. Yesterday the terrible feelings came back and I'm left wondering, "what went wrong?".

Based on my day, I've narrowed the culprits down to:

1. Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar Chips

While eating these yesterday I decided they just might be my favourite chip of all time. I think the only competition is "Dill Pickle Chips", any brand. I haven't had chips in a while, so I'm thinking they might be responsible, which I hope isn't true, because chips are the snack lifeblood of the modern dude. This particular brand and flavour take you on a journey to this place:

Not specifically "Harry's", but any fish and chip shop. You think that's Harry?

Suspect #2 is stress. I've been in a fairly decent and stress free mood as of late, but yesterday at work I got in a big time stink, which continued into the night. I'm trying to fight the mood but sometimes the bullshit piles so high that the sky turns brown.

Suspect #3 - This weird Portuguese turkey that Liv bought from a variety store. She told me that it was "slimey", which indeed it was. I only buy my deli meats fresh shaved, so maybe this slippery meat had something to do with my discomfort. In any case, I'm not taking the risk and will never eat that brand with the Portuguese flag again - unless it's shaved fresh- then they can stick on whatever flag they want.

I have a weekend full of activities planned, so hopefully these tum tum issues will resolve themselves by then. If not I'm going to kick the ass of the first weak looking teenager that crosses my path.

4 comments:

highwaisted said...

i looooooooooooooooooove dill pickle chips. and dill pickles. or any pickle for that matter.

Duke of Spook said...

oh man dill pickles are a big part of my life - a part of my identity

cara said...

those miss vickies coulda done it. work stress could also be a culprit. you should take NEXIUM! it's a great drug that i frequent for stomach pain. i also have this insane stuff i got in africa that's a liquid medication with anasthaetic in it - totally numbs your stomach. so awesome. let me know if you need some. seriously.

Duke of Spook said...

We will discuss these remedies this evening

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