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June 29, 2009

I'M ORDERING THE LASAGNA AND IF ANY OF YOU ORDER IT TOO I'M GOING TO FREAK OUT BIG TIME

Since my roommate was out of town this past weekend, I thought I'd undo the shackles of domestic living and party relatively hard. Recurring themes included baseball, beers, meat and summer time fun. Here, without the aid of photographic proof, is what happened.

On Friday I was called in to play ball for the Comedy Bar KFC Big Crunchers in a pivotal playoff match-up against a team who had beaten them before. After seven long innings of me pulling my quadriceps, scraping my knee and eating a lot of sunflower seeds, we came out on top against all odds and deemed it fitting to celebrate the victory with drinking. People have been doing it for eons and we were not about to buck the trend. Things got wild when Cito Gaston showed up to ask for our baseball tips to which we all were like "Relax big guy, have some gin" and then he took home four chicks no problem.

The next day myself and three dudes went to check out Cito's boys in action, but the Jays decided they wanted to play like bum bums so we had to entertain ourselves while our beloved blue birds embarrassed the sauce out of us. Most of the game was spent trying to figure out the name of Nelly's first single. It took us about an hour and a half before Charles finally nailed "Country Grammar". It was on the tip of our tongues the whole time but all we could think of were different variations of:

- Southern Hospitality
- Midwest Slang
- Southern Slang
- Street Talk
- Ghetto Talk
- Ghetto Slang

We left the game in the 8th when it was 10-0 for the Phillies, and besides, the seats were getting so hot that our butts were baking.

We then took a timely dip in Andy's condo pool which was my official first swim of the year. Write that down you trivia hounds! Much like when we all go to parties, we made several women leave the area of the pool we were lounging in, probably because they couldn't handle the heat. Fair ball ladies, fair ball.

After that we re-convened at a house and BBQ'd a lot of meat while drinking world-wide favourite "beer" and then capped off the night with a rousing game of Settlers of Catan.

Since I'm writing this on Sunday, I can't say what the rest of the weekend was like, but I can tell you I'm planning on getting Jamaican food and watching Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers. I dare you to convince me there's anything better than that to do.

What do Twin Peaks and Michael Jackson have in common? Both their endings were kind of weird.

Peace guys, check me out tomorrow. I reveal the winner of the Spring Sweepstakes, brought to you by Crispers and I debut my newly invented haircut, "The Young Dinosaur".

2 comments:

mogg said...

it's actually COUNTRY grammar, which rogowsky could have told you immediately!

Duke of Spook said...

That was a typo. Oopies.

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