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June 30, 2009

GIVE YOUR MONEY AND I'LL MAKE YOU THE BEST UNDIES

I'm kind of envious of people who are fans of things that suck. Being a fan of something that sucks is a heck of a lot easier than being a fan of something popular. Allow me to elaborate.

Let's say you really love Justin Timberlake. Fair enough - he's handsome, young, and talented and he wears nouveau leather jackets - I understand. But unless you're rich and famous yourself, your fandom is limited to buying his music, his merchandise, magazines featuring his likeness and that kind of thing. You can probably only see him in concert once or twice a year and it'll cost you big bucks, and the likelihood that you'll get to meet him is very slim. Even if you do manage to meet him it'll only be for a few quick seconds and he'll forget you immediately because you're just another beef in the pasture.

On the flip side, let us say that you're a big fan of Kim Mitchell. I'm not talking about a casual fan, because I consider myself one, but rather someone who has followed Kim since the early Max Webster days and continues to support him to this day and he's your all time number 1. It would be so good! He plays a million small festivals in Ontario alone during the summer, most of which are free, and if you ever want to go talk to him, just visit him at the Hard Rock cafe when he does drivetime on Q107. I guarantee that Kim knows his biggest fans personally. Same goes for fans of Trooper and David Wilcox.

I once went to a KISS convention in Etobicoke in a dirty part of town across the street from a garbage dump on "Plywood Road". Seriously. My friends and I were in high school and this convention was dirty. The big draw was that former KISS guitarists Mark St. John and Bruce Kulick would be there. We didn't really give a turd because they were members during KISS' crappiest period in the eighties and nineties. In fact, Mark St. John only played on one album and then got fired because he hurt his hand. When we saw him at the place he was so ugly and haggard looking that I thought he was just another stuck in the 80's KISS fan. Anyway, the big time KISS fans loved them! They asked all sorts of questions about their equipment and their solo careers leaving us teens going "WHAAAAAAT".

The same thing happens when you get really into a local band. This isn't as degrading and you still get the same effect. You get to see them all the time and hang out with them and still be like "You're a cool dude, dudes".

So if you're frustrated with the lack of intimacy gained from your support of something wildly popular, try loving something that sucks and be immersed!


2 comments:

G.P. said...

Huge disagreement with you here, Glenn. While I agree on most of your points, you are way off on Bruce Kulick. He is totally sick and you should have been honored to meet him. He was NOT a member during a crappy 90s period. He was a member during the last period where KISS was respectable and made good music. Between Dynasty and now, Revenge was there only good album -- and you can partially thank Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer for that. So, next time you see him, Glenn, shake his hand and say "Thanks for Revenge, Mr. Kulick. You should still be in the band, and they should have never put the make-up back on and done a reunion tour. It was horribly embarassing and forever tarnished the reputation of a once great band." Then you can feel free to ask him: "What would your dog make-up have looked like had you gotten a chance to put it on?" (Nerdy KISS fact for the day: Bruce Kulick said if he was in the band when they wore make-up his character would have been the Dog.)

Duke of Spook said...

hahahahaha point well taken. At the convention Kulick actually looked like a rock star, so he's not nearly as bad as St. John. Is "Unholy" off Revenge? Good song.

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