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May 1, 2009

THANK GOODNESS FOR ALL OF THOSE YELLOW SCARVES

My sunburn is almost healed now and it's starting to peel, which is the best part. There's nothing more satisfying than peeling a big old sheet of skin off. Did you ever do that thing when you were a kid where you cover your hand in white glue, let it dry and then peel it off? If you like peeling then give it a try next time you have some glue handy. I guess glue isn't the kind of thing young adults keep around though. When you're a kid there's glue everywhere. Glue and construction paper. If I needed that stuff now I don't even think I'd know where to find it. When was the last time you used glue? When you get old you use staplers, paper clips and tape for any fastening needs, am I right? Staplers are the Skor bars of the fastening world - a more civilized choice.

My sunburn is also itchy. When I worked at a grocery store around the age of 15 or 16 I had this terrible sunburn and it itched so bad when I was at work that I needed quick relief or else I'd go crazy. So I went to the pharmacy area and decided on Gold Bond cream because Gold Bond is a trusted name in powders and creams and it said right on the package that it was good for sunburns. I put the cream on and it made me itchier so I've never, and will never, use that shit again. During one of my first ever hangovers I had to go to work at the grocery store and this manager asked me to go find a shopping cart that was on the lawn of the President of the Company's or something. I remember wandering around aimlessly looking for this thing and having to stop every few minutes to sit down and get my head straight or else I'd barf. I finally found the damn thing and had to wheel it up this giant hill. When I got back I said I was sick and went home. I remember my sister tried to convince my parents that I was hungover, which I flatly denied. Well played Laura, but you you'll never destroy me.

I think I've finally finished that Office spec script I've been working on forever and it feels like a nice warm dip in a pool with the BBQ going right beside it being worked by a a grill master. I bought this book called "The War on Art" and it's all about procrastination and stuff and I'm not big on self-help or anything, but it really helped myself. Chances are that in a couple of weeks I'll lose much of the momentum this book has given me, but maybe that will be the test as to whether I can actually sustain being a writer in the professional sense.

This entry was kind of boring. Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with stuff to tell you, but be assured this is probably as bad as it'll get. If it got worse, I'd erase everything and instead post pictures of funny toads or some more choose your own adventure stories. Maybe this wasn't that bad, but I think the part in the middle about the grocery store adventures wasn't all that exciting. Luckily, thanks to the aforementioned book I read, it doesn't matter what you write as long as you write. I guess that doesn't help you, the reader, but don't worry I always try to make this as good as possible even if I got NOTHING.

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