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December 29, 2008

BAH HUMBART

Holiday hiatus is officially been lifted and I'm back to being a busy bee, whether it comes to working, cooking, cleaning, playing, or cycling. I'm somewhat well rested with a belly full of Christmas meats and cheeses, ready to serve the Internet public with tales of intrigue and heartbreak.

Upon reflection I didn't really give the reader a very good glimpse into my holiday season. That one post did I guess, but I was busy working on a play and doing nothing the rest of the time. Fact of the matter is that the Holidays aren't really all that big a thing unless you're a kid or you have kids or there are kids around. Otherwise it's just a bunch of sitting and eating and complaining. Let's get into it.

My brother gave me a new Playstation 3 controller for XMAS bringing my controller count to a respectable three. When I got back to my apartment I decided I was going to try to fix one of the older controllers because one of its buttons was really sticky and since I demand peak performance out of my gaming utensils I decided to open it up and see what I could do. An hour later I had to throw it in the garbage because I screwed up and I couldn't but it back together again. Sometimes, just sometimes, I'm the stupidest. So instead of being +1 in terms of PS3 controllers, I'm back to even strength. BARK.

You know what TV guy I hate? That Disaronno on the rocks guy. He looks like a reaaaaaaal lion faced dick eater. Would you have sex with him if he poured you a Disaronno and the rocks and looked at you like that? Probably not.

I was watching a bit of Stand By Me the other day as it seems to be on TV like once a day, and I made a parallel between Will Wheaton and new movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" where Brad Pitt ages in reverse. If you ask me, Will Wheaton is less of a man now than when he was 12 or however old he was in that movie. His voice is deeper, and he seems like way less of a weiner. The Curious Case of Will Wheaton. This is the opposite of my evolution for I've grown from a pencil neck geek to become a hurly burly he-man who chops down trees and then eats them for dinner with a side of whatever animal I killed with my knees that day. Then I drink 30 beers no problem.

I got this book of rock n roll quotes for Christmas which I read while I dispose human waste in the lavatory, and today I read one from Sharon Osbourne about how Madonna adopted a kid and it was like she bought a new purse and it got me thinking. I'm willing to bet that celebrity adoption got really big because it's way easier than actually having a baby. They save themselves the pain, the big stomach and post baby insane pound trimming workouts/surgery that they deem necessary. But no one can come out and accuse them of this because they do it under the guise of helping a third world country and stuff like that.

Those are the thoughts of the day. If this were a radio show I'd take callers right now. Word has it I get to leave work early today which is the sunniest news I've heard all day. I ate Indian food last night and now my butt is telling me it was a bad idea. Tomorrow or the next day I'm going to do a year in review that probably won't turn out the way I envision it in my head. Do you really want to know what my year was like? Do I? Do YOU? Do your friends? Your family? WE'LL SEE YOU'DES

2 comments:

edgarnow said...

ummm, hi, yeah, this is Some Guy, from New York City, New Jersey, I was wondering if it would be a good idea to get a camera and start filming myself because i noticed everyone had to rub up against that girl in order to get in the shot. Ive noticed it before too when people take pictures. Im really lonely and i think it would give people a reason to rub up against me, and it looks like it makes them more interesting too. it couldnt have been the alchohol that made them laugh, ive only see it make people barf.

thanks man.

Duke of Spook said...

Yeah totally! Pictures can be a great ice breaker and give you an excuse for a post party correspondence! "Hey check it the pics of you an I. Want a date sometime?"

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