BAH HUMBART

Holiday hiatus is officially been lifted and I'm back to being a busy bee, whether it comes to working, cooking, cleaning, playing, or cycling. I'm somewhat well rested with a belly full of Christmas meats and cheeses, ready to serve the Internet public with tales of intrigue and heartbreak.

Upon reflection I didn't really give the reader a very good glimpse into my holiday season. That one post did I guess, but I was busy working on a play and doing nothing the rest of the time. Fact of the matter is that the Holidays aren't really all that big a thing unless you're a kid or you have kids or there are kids around. Otherwise it's just a bunch of sitting and eating and complaining. Let's get into it.

My brother gave me a new Playstation 3 controller for XMAS bringing my controller count to a respectable three. When I got back to my apartment I decided I was going to try to fix one of the older controllers because one of its buttons was really sticky and since I demand peak performance out of my gaming utensils I decided to open it up and see what I could do. An hour later I had to throw it in the garbage because I screwed up and I couldn't but it back together again. Sometimes, just sometimes, I'm the stupidest. So instead of being +1 in terms of PS3 controllers, I'm back to even strength. BARK.

You know what TV guy I hate? That Disaronno on the rocks guy. He looks like a reaaaaaaal lion faced dick eater. Would you have sex with him if he poured you a Disaronno and the rocks and looked at you like that? Probably not.

I was watching a bit of Stand By Me the other day as it seems to be on TV like once a day, and I made a parallel between Will Wheaton and new movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" where Brad Pitt ages in reverse. If you ask me, Will Wheaton is less of a man now than when he was 12 or however old he was in that movie. His voice is deeper, and he seems like way less of a weiner. The Curious Case of Will Wheaton. This is the opposite of my evolution for I've grown from a pencil neck geek to become a hurly burly he-man who chops down trees and then eats them for dinner with a side of whatever animal I killed with my knees that day. Then I drink 30 beers no problem.

I got this book of rock n roll quotes for Christmas which I read while I dispose human waste in the lavatory, and today I read one from Sharon Osbourne about how Madonna adopted a kid and it was like she bought a new purse and it got me thinking. I'm willing to bet that celebrity adoption got really big because it's way easier than actually having a baby. They save themselves the pain, the big stomach and post baby insane pound trimming workouts/surgery that they deem necessary. But no one can come out and accuse them of this because they do it under the guise of helping a third world country and stuff like that.

Those are the thoughts of the day. If this were a radio show I'd take callers right now. Word has it I get to leave work early today which is the sunniest news I've heard all day. I ate Indian food last night and now my butt is telling me it was a bad idea. Tomorrow or the next day I'm going to do a year in review that probably won't turn out the way I envision it in my head. Do you really want to know what my year was like? Do I? Do YOU? Do your friends? Your family? WE'LL SEE YOU'DES