LAST POST OF THE YEAR FIRST POST OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Before anything gets started today, I'd like to thank our 2008 sponsor, Biff's Fruit Toys



Unfortunately Graham "Biff" Unitas is retiring the brand at the strike of 3 pm today, so we're looking for a new sponsor for 2009. If you have a business and would like worldwide exposure targeted at the 18-47 demographic, contact my on ICQ or just call me or something and we'll set you up. You give me money and I talk about your stuff. Sound good?

Ahhhhhh the mood is now lightened. The candles have been lit, the dog is asleep at your feet, the wine has had a chance to breath, you're snake is fed, you called your dad, the kiln is off and your garlic bread is juuuuuuust about ready...

2008 YEAR IN REVIEW (afterword by Governor General Michelle Jean)

SECTION 1 - PROFESSIONAL

You guys have heard me complain about several things this year, but complaining about work had to be number one. I started 2008 with my head held high, ready to find a new job. I've ended 2008 with the same job I had before and no prospects whatsoever. Will 2009 be the same? Will I pull a Forrest Gump and run across the country with a beard? No. But my strategy has to change. I guess the main thing is that I still don't really know what it is I want to do or how I'll do it once I do decide. I'm very weary of commitment because I'm scared I'll make the wrong choice. Not finding a new job had to be bummer of the year. If ever I was in a bad mood, this is probably why. On the other hand, had I got a new job I probably wouldn't have updated this cocksucker so often, as most of these writings are forged at the office.

SECTION 2 - PERSONAL

Pretty vague section huh? Ah well. Personally, 2008 was very good. I spent most of the year living with two good friends and my brother in a huge house downtown full of every dude amenity you could ever imagine - Arcade machine, video games, pool table, dart board, big tv. We had a rat once but it died in the basement and I didn't have to pick it up because Andy was more of a man than us. Then I made a big step and moved into a gigantic apartment on Queen St. with my steady girl. That's pretty good right? My finances are in order and I have my health so personally I'm looking coooooool for the new year. All I need now is some new threads and maybe a skateboard.

SECTION 3 - RECREATION

I managed to perform quite a bit this year and I've gotten more comfortable being on stage by myself, which is a tough thing to do and I can't believe I've even done it at all. Andy and I started our improv duo Jet Fighter Pilots that people seem to like and I was able to hang around some really creative, inspiring people that make the monotony of work seem like pancakes in the garbage can. On top of that mound of rubies, the last month or so I've been working on a play with my friend Jon and some other wonderful people that will be going down on January 7th. I think I'm finally comfortable on stage for the most part and I have my friends and Toronto's finest creative types to thank for the encouragement and support. Oh man what a tear jerker! I had a dream last night that combined the Goonies with Stand by Me (again) and in the dream we were at the end of the movie and the song Stand By Me came on and I started bawling in front of Corey Feldman. Then as I was sitting on the can this morning I decided that Stand By Me might be the best song of all time. Stand By Me. Stand By Me. Stand My Be. Sand in Sea.

Of course there's this blog as well, which I can't believe I'm still doing because as I mentioned before I'm very non-committal when it comes to this sort of thing. Thanks to all of you who have read it at all and thanks to all the other bloggers who have given shout outs and who make me want to keep writing EVERY DAMN DAY even though half the time I'm just talking about time travel and space because that stuff is the best and I can't think of anything else to write about.

So looking back, my 2008 was pretty good. Nothing that bad happened to me except the frustration of not finding new work, which is no big deal considering some people don't have jobs at all. That's the Grapes of Wrath talking. I have like 15 pages left. Take it away Michelle!



I got dressed the fuck up for this! As a new year blossoms from the cocoon of 2008, we should really think about Canada and just how so totally awesome it really is. I love Canada. Politics are more interesting than you think! Read the news! Be smart! Do some post secondary education but don't party.

Michelle that was no good. That's not what we talked about. She was supposed to give some gypsy predictions for 2009 like some lucky numbers and the names of some strong ponies to bet on. Ah well. That's the vaguest year in review you've ever read, but that's the way I like it. Details are boring unless they're funny and you can fill in being vague with stuff that's not true. That's pretty much the philosophy around here. See you next year!