December 24, 2008


A Holiday update today would be pointless because all I've done so far is watch the Canada's Worst Driver marathon. 2 episodes left. I think the Asian lady is going to win, which means the old adage "Driving While Asian" gains more strength as the last winner was also Asian I think. I'm such a good driver. The only bad thing I've ever done is back into a giant curb and bend a muffler that I got repaired THAT AFTERNOON on my own and it was like my first week driving. I could be an F1 driver no problem. I'd win the championship and then spend all my money buying islands and importing world liquors like Dan Ackroyd. Then I'll find a stable of babes that get along with Liv so they'll all be my Hugh Hefner style girlfriends that know Liv is #1 but have no problem swimming in bikinis all day long. Was that sexist? It's sort of like that fantasy Wayne has in his film "Wayne's World" with the girls in the white cotton panties and the puke and all that. I remember when I was a kid I used to always but those Clearly Canadian fizzy fruit drinks and they were soooooo good and I distinctly remember thinking to myself "If I were I millionaire I'd have these around all the time". So I'd honour past Glenn and make that happen as well. Just in case time travel is real. You have to satisfy your past selves. Eat lots of candy and buy toys and talk bad about homework every so often.

My cutting down on TV will have to begin in the New Year. Until then I'm going to eat numerous sweet squares courtesy of our elderly neighbour and lounge around in my dirty old Flames sweatshirt that has paint all over it that probably once belonged to a dirty man.

Proof! Photographic proof. Digital from the future. Shaved! I shaved yesterday. Bed! I'm lying in a bed. Have you guys ever seen Pussy Cat Dolls lingerie at the undies store? I have zero respect for anyone who buys that unless it's a joke. Or if a Pussy Cat Doll buys some. Like if they're on tour and someone jacks their bras and they have to go to the mall. That's pretty handy. Maybe that was their plan all along. The mall has everything they need: Lingerie, and they can go buy their CD as a backing track because they must lip sync live. Or just imagine being in the store and a Pussy Cat Doll comes in and is like:

"Ooooooooh this stuff is my style!"
"Yeah it's your own line, remember?"
"Ohhhh yeah!!! Cute :)"

Merry Christmas everyone! I'll post a nice holiday treat tomorrow! If you have a choice between hanging out with your dumb friends or hanging out with your family in the next 36 hours, choose family because they probably like you a lot and don't see you that often.

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