LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA (THAT ITALIAN SONG)

Hi boys!

I spent last weekend in Buffalo, NY because I was invited by the Bills to be their new long snapper. I didn't make the team but I got some great Bills training gear and top notch tips from special teams coach Brady Fwumpt.

LIES

I did go to Buffalo.

TRUTH

We went on Saturday and stayed with known friend Jessica's parents' house. We watched half of Ratatouille and then headed to Anchor Bar to eat wings. <---------- That's the place where Buffalo wings were invented you idiot. I've tried to watch Ratatouille three times now and I just can't seem to finish it even though it's a so far so good type situation. I've tried to eat wings several times, each very successful, although once I had Hooters' wings and they did a number on my stomach which then effected my bladder. Don't worry, I didn't muddy my trousers or anything, but it was not very enjoyable.

We got up at 7am on Sunday to tailgate before the match. MAAAAN it was a MAAAANN's paradise. Our 9 person crew had 60 beers, sausages, burgers, stew and chili on our food team and everything worked out deliciously, although American beers don't work the same as Canadian ones. They're weak like the economy!!! WHOOOAAA DING DING SIGN OF THE TIMES 2008 SUPER RELEVANT YOU ALL KNOW NOW BUT WON'T IN TWO YEARS YOU'LL FORGET BY THEN BUT NOW BANG BANG BANG. These guys beside us totally outdid us by setting up an entire kitchen in 10 minutes and then proceeded to make wings, fries, sausages, ribs, and probably some other stuff, I don't know, they didn't share. The game was fairly shitty, but since I'm a sports fan I enjoyed the atmosphere nonetheless, like if you're a slut and you do some guy and you're like "That guy was a moron, but I still loved the part where we had sex". I had to drive my woman's mother's car back home and the weather was pure arctic winds and sleet. It was as if Storm of X-Men fame was fighting some dick head so she had to make the weather shitty as strategy, and me and the other Joe Public's had to deal with it. By the time we got home I was messed up with on a combination of drowsiness, Rockstar Energy drink and vertigo from keeping my eyes on the rainy highway for 2 hours.

That is a spot on account of the weekend that was. Work today has been a huge ball wart of a day and I have a headache, so ying yang right? Black, white? Maple Leaf, Schneiders? Tonight is the Project Runway finale, but I'm not that excited because I know who wins. Should I ruin it for you? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. You owe me for not telling you. You don't watch that show? You owe me. In the future no one will owe anyone anything because everything will be free because robots will make everything and we won't have to pay them. All they'll require is some oil and some new screws now and then which we'll be more than glad to give them. Then judgement day comes and we all blow up but we had a good time for a while.

Okay, I'm out of here. Tomorrow try wearing the underpants of the opposite sex so we can learn and understand each other better. I'm not going to do it but you should. I'm the organizer. Administrative role.