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December 16, 2008

STRAY OBSERVATIONS (WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF 'STRAY'?)

Commercials are really funny because they're job is to trick you into believing you need something that you probably don't. The funniest ones are those that are really obvious in their trickery. I was watching one for Breathe Right nasal strips featuring the guy who invented them. He's like "My name is Dan So and So and I'm an inventor" and then he talks about snoring for awhile and how smart he is. The funny part is that while he's talking there's a microscope in the background as if the people who made the ad really want to push the fact that this guy is a "genius" and that all "genius inventors" own a microscope. I'll bet you my life savings and a large pizza that he didn't use that microscope when he invented Breathe Right strips. And I bet he's the type of crack pot inventor that invents things like the Snuggie or like a remote controlled frog or something, you know, things that don't require microscopes, like most of the guys who go on Dragon's Den, which is a great little program.

Remember when Street Cents used to try out all those crazy products from TV? I think that might be one of my favourite shows off all-time. I might've seen every episode. Dragon's Den is like Street Cents' adult predcessor. But not really. They both deal with consumerism and products. That bald guy on Dragon's Den is a dick. I think if I met that guy in real life I'd punch him. I don't have a problem with the Dragons telling someone their product is shit, but it's the way this guy goes about it. He's always got this look on his face that says "I'm better than you". If he read this right now he'd probably say "That's what I'm going for idiot" because he wants to be famous and to do so you have to be a Simon Cowell style cock smacker. It says so in my latest book, "Becoming John Malkovich - A Guide to Being Famous in the 21st Century - Foreword by Christopher Plummer".

3 comments:

cara said...

i have SO MUCH TO SAY today. firstly, breathe right nasal strips are a great invention. i use them sometimes and definitely think their inventor is a genius, though i agree that there's no way he's ever used a microscope. secondly, i also love dragon's den and used to love street cents. i never missed an episode! remember ken pompadour and benita ha? (benita who? benita ha). and jonathan torrens, who went on to host "jonovision" which hosted musical competitions and gave away "the coveted golden ear." Ah, tv.

Duke of Spook said...

I don't have a vendetta against Breathe Right, in fact I think it's an innovative product. Except I know a snorer who says they don't work.

hahaha Ken Pompadour. What was the hedgehog's name? I used to love ET Canada's Kim deon or whatever when she was on that but now she looks like a mannequin.

edgarnow said...

Forthright is a word that can be used as the opposite of stray, especially in this context.

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