April 17, 2009


I really hope I haven't discussed this before, but here is a piece about water travel, an issue close to my heart.

Why don't we boat more often? I remember in school once a teacher told us how Earth is a water planet and I was like "whaaaaaaatttttt!!! It totally is". Our whole planet is connected by a highway called water and we barely ever use it any more. If I owned a good boat I could go anywhere I wanted and all I'd need is supplies and equipment. Any moron can drive a boat. Driving a boat is easier than riding a bike and it's a lot more fun because there's barely anything you can run into. AND if you need food you just stick your head in and pull a delicious sea creature out. You can even eat most of them raw for Heaven's sake!

So what's stopping us from boating ALL the time?

1. Distance - Boats probably aren't fast enough to make it worth while and fuel is an issue as well. But if we've already invented robots and space ships, you'd think someone would be able to create some sort of ultra boat that runs off garbage and can go really fast in a stable manner. We're pretty much there. Check out this photo by Rolf Hicker of The Cat, which is a sick ferry:

But it can only travel at speeds in excess of 90 km/h, so we'll have to work on that.

2. The High Seas are a dangerous place - Again, super boat would solve this, but at the end of the day the sea can be a dangerous place, just ask Captain Ahab or those dudes from Deadliest Catch.

There's also the argument that the seas could present unknown dangers, like how scientists say that underwater is like space and that there's so much undiscovered stuff down there. I like to think of this is positive. Why go to space when we have underwater in our own backyards? Let's "Abyss" that shit and go exploring! Plus, what if we find Atlantis and they give us all this aqua technology while we give them dirt (per 'Waterworld', dirt is like gold to water people) and we get to have sex with all the mermaids and dashing mermen and they can come and have sex with us and try hot dogs and hamburgers and everyone's happy.

3. The seas are boring - Disagreed. You can play sports, go fishing, scuba dive and snorkel whenever. If you get sick of water, just go below deck and play some video games, no big deal.

There you go. More boats, more water exploring, more fun, mermaids. Pick the sea and you'll fill with glee.

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