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April 27, 2009

MAMA'S SERVING PICKLED CRACKERS AND LEMONADE BEEF

If this weekend were a burrito it'd be spicy and it would have some strange ingredient like shredded carrot or peanut butter and when you get it from the burrito salesman you go "that's fun".

FRIDAY

Andy booked a room at XO karaoke because he wanted to sing karaoke, so we gathered a motley crew of friends from all walks of life and sang our nips off for three hours. I always hope that when I get friends together who don't know each other that they'll all get along and feel great, which is a lot to ask. Karaoke is a great way to to achieve this though because there's never any silence in the room and people are kind of forced to get up there and present themselves, bearing their feelings through the miracle of song and the wonder of music. The following photos should give you a good idea of the vibe and passion that was in the room that eve:




My karaoke songs of the night were "Neutron Dance" which I did duet style with Andy, "Poppin' My Collar", which I've got pretty good at, "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith and a bunch more that I can't remember. Let's just say I covered most major western genres from the last 40 years. I like to tell a story with my karaoke.

SATURDAY

I was looking forward to this day since last Monday thanks to modern technology and its "Five Day Forecast". Luckily, all the reports were correct, and it was sunny and warm for the biggest and best chunk of the day, until around 4pm when a fierce store hit the town, complete with rain and winds that made you say "BOOOORRRBBBB". Anyway, when I woke up I headed straight for Canadian Tire and bought a new tennis racquet (impulse buy), a can of balls, and two baseballs, and put them in my backpack along with my old tennis racquet and two baseball mits.

Before heading to the park I made a stop at Subway for brunch. The lady working there acted like she was working in a jail. ALL BUSINESS. She got snappy at these soft spoken ladies for not ordering fast enough and proceeded to toast my sub when I told her twice not to. She was efficient though. Maybe the big boss came in right before I got there and told them they'd better sell 600 subs before close or that particular branch would be closed and when all the chips were down this old millionaire came in and bought 300 subs for his granddaughter's sweet 16.

I spent the afternoon in the park with pals and we played a spirited game of softball and the whole area was buzzing with kite fliers, catch throwers, tennis aces, dog havers, and probably some bad dudes too, they like warm weather as much as anyone else.

Stupidly, I neglected to screen my skin from the sun, and I ended up with burns on my neck and arms. The pain became rather bothersome on Saturday night and because I don't have any aloe I had to try new strategies to deal with the pain. One of them involved me imagining I was Marvel superhero, "The Human Torch". I just imagined that after the Human Torch turns his fire body off he feels like he's sunburned, but it's not so bad because it's just a sunburn and it's a small price to pay to be able to turn into a fire man and fly around. Surprisingly, this seemed to work along with putting cold drinks on the hot spots and trying not to look at my lobster arms.

That night Andy and I did "The Dumbest Shit" comedy show at midnight and we did a bit called "Who Wants to be a Fart Millionaire". It went as well as a fart bit can go when there's 6 people in the audience, but I think it could've been dumber than it was, which was my fault. Also, I was dead tired and probably had a mild case of sun stroke.

Sunday I had burgers with my dad and brother and they brought me a new stereo receiver and my rig is almost complete and I can rock the summer away with the sounds of vinyl. All I need now are some new speakers and the dancing around nude on hot days will commence.

That'll do it! Like the movie "A.I." this entry was a bit long, but for those who spend all day at work struggling to find content to read on the Internet because there's nothing to do at their job, this is my gift. And this:



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