SHUT YOUR MOUTH, TIE YOUR SHOES, GRIND YOUR SPICES AND LET'S GET OUTTA HERE

I spent most of the weekend PIGGING OUT on carrots and and diet root beer. I feel sooooo guilty, but when I find something I like, I eat it a million times and then move on or go back to dry cereals. Depends.

FALSITY

Here's what actually went down, in chronological order so as not to offend those self conscious activities that would get offended if I ranked them in order of "fun". I'm looking in your direction "Sunday Afternoon".

On Friday, my friend Brendan got me a ticket to the 7:30pm Norm MacDonald stand up show at Yuk Yuks. Oh gravy, it was so funny and good, that my mind said, "whoa boy" and my body made it so my hand slapped my knee a lot and all that is good for the soul. Here's a YouTube compalation courtesy of the Internet, so you can feel the way I felt and we can move on to the next bit:



After the show I went to a bar to meet up with people from work who were celebrating the visit of our friend. I kind of wish the default social event was something like bowling or trampolines instead of just standard bar, but in order for that happen we'd need more alleys and trampolines and that's not going to happen in these economic times. Plus, bars have been the social default for so long, it would be like telling a business man to put away his suit and start wearing coveralls or maybe a khaki safari outfit to work instead.

On Saturday I went to Niagara Falls for a bachelor party. Unfortunately, our friend who is getting married has two different groups of friends who party in different ways. My team wanted to avoid casinos and strip clubs and instead go play video games, go to haunted houses and watch waterfalls, while team B wanted the opposite. So we kind of separated at some point, but we still had fun and we did all eat steaks together at the Keg. Things we noticed about Niagara - it's shitty, it's full of teens from Buffalo and it's stupid. I brought my camera and wasn't taking pictures so my drunk friend got mad and took control. Let's see how he did:

Here's a good blurry one of two strangers who aren't doing anything

And here Stein takes a picture of a street with nothing on it.

That's more like it!

Here's one I took where the guys look like night monsters/sexual predators

Andy and Greg play an Aliens arcade game while the other guys ditched us

On Sunday I napped all afternoon and then made chicken. There was lots of hockey to watch and watched a lot of it because the playoffs are like cirque de soleil after all you've seen in your life is regular circus'.