April 14, 2009


Before you read on, please be warned that today's post contains a lot of self reflection. If that sounds boring to you, imagine that it's written by Jonathan Taylor Thomas and it'll probably be funnier.

I realized something about myself the other day while continuing to search for the answer to the question, "How did I become the man you see before you today?" The realization is that in my mind I haven't worked very hard. I think my mantra has always been, "do as little as you can to get by" and maybe it's time I started to change that. I'm not a total bag of lazy bones though:

- I write this thing five days a week, but I don't plan it out really and it probably could be a lot better.
- I do comedy shows sometimes and make videos, but not all that often and it's the sort of business where hard work is necessary to make something happen
- I pursue new career opportunities on the Internet which are usually dead ends. I should hit the pavement and call people more
- I started to try to get my writing career on track, but it's taken a year or something to finish a script for a half hour show

So I'm sort of half lazy. I do minimum amounts to satisfy myself and then move on.

Is this "deep shit"? I think this self psycho-analysis is helping to clarify my current position in life. It's strange because I'm really restless and antsy, but when I get like that I usually just end up wandering around the house, peering into the fridge and trying to find little, short, easy chores to complete instead of channeling it into something productive. The plants need watering? No problem! This box needs to be thrown 0ut? I can do that! I have to go the bathroom? Good time waster!

This is the kind of post that I'll look back on and think "oh yeah I remember that time, I was being weird" and I'll have trouble reading the whole thing because it's kind of embarrassing. Kind of like THIS:


July 9, 2001:

I wish I could jump ahead in time to when I'm an adult and my life is set. Being a late teenager is some hard shit. I feel like I'm trapped right now between adulthood and childhood, and in reality I am because of university. I have no idea what my life will be like at the end of August or in a year for that matter. In a way it's intriguing and in a way it's scary. I think I need answers, I'm in a state of flux beyond compare, it's like I'm in the warp zone in Mario Brothers and I can't figure out what world to go to, though the smart choice would be to move on to the last level, beat the game and get a new one. Shit, maybe this is all a weird dream and I'll wake up one day and be a pirate or a sassy rastafarian who sits on the beach all day selling necklaces, without a care in the world.

The most embarrassing part is the last part. The strange thing is that my attitude hasn't changed much. I still feel trapped between childhood and adulthood and I always seem to be in a state of flux. Are you still with me here? This post hasn't contained as many silly things, but sometimes you need a side of serious with that glass of fart milk.

That's all. Tomorrow I'll post a report about my trip to the dentist and maybe I'll talk about swans. Who doesn't like swans???


cara said...

not sure if you overheard our convo on this side of the office yesterday, but we concluded that being 25, 26, 27, or any age around there is basically "still a baby". none of us feel like adults yet. so you're not alone in this whole in between thing. we're all right there dude!!!

Duke of Spook said...

yeah dude, let's all buy some candy with our money

Anonymous said...

Now I've got that I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman Britney song in my head. Thanks a lot!

Duke of Spook said...

hahahaha I never thought that song could hit so close to home

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