PUT THE CIDER IN THE BOOT KIDS, WE'RE GOIN TO TEXAS

This year's birthday was at first melancholy because I don't like getting old and it was snowing. But after some soul searching, a half day at work, well wishes, some presents, and a dinner at the Keg Steakhouse and Bar, I concluded that I'm happy with myself at 27 and I don't have anything at all to complain about, except that my eye either has pinkeye or it's drier than Popeye's biscuits. I think it's just dry, don't freak out you guys, you can still shake my hand if you see me around.

April 8 is also the anniversary of my long term relationship, so raise a glass of delicious Tradewinds brand iced tea and toast to Liv and I for three years of coupling. Dare me to break up with her?

I'm going to go on a bit of a rant against models right now.

Does anyone else here dislike models and the modeling business? I recently read a quote from Tyrese Gibson I think, and he was whining about how actors are taking all these modeling jobs from models and how they shouldn't be doing it. I may have talked about this before, but seriously, who is going to feel bad for a model? There's is the only profession where looks is 100% everything. At least actors have to memorize lines. Models get paid absurd amounts of money to travel around and get worshipped for doing nothing and they contribute nothing to society except an unattainable idea of beauty. Then today I read this quote from Elle MacPhereson regarding the state of the economy and what she's doing to adjust:

"I've been consumer conscious for a while. I traded in my Range Rover for a Lexus and I either bike or take my Fiat Bambino on the school run. My only extravagance is art. It always has a place in my budget. All the artists I love, Lucian Freud, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Tracey Emin, I've invested in."

So not only are you still driving a luxury vehicle, but you have several other vehicles that you only use to go specific places AND you haven't stopped buying art. Bravo Elle.

The only attitude a model should have is pure unadulterated GRATEFULNESS, which I'm sure most models are. It's the Tyra's and Tyrese's of the world that make them seem so unbelievably smug.

There. That's all I'm going to say about that. FOR NOW MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

This weekend I'm having a bit of a birthday celebration and also an Easter feast in Mississauga. Other than that my schedule is open, so if you want to hang out contact my booking agent:

Davp Oldtruud
King King Management
1623 Blue Jays Way
Toronto ON

That's not a real guy, that's PURE comedy. Tomorrow I'll maybe talk about Easter briefly and rate the fashions at the high school prom. SEE YOUD