April 23, 2009


Guess what I don't like:

A) Fall Fairs
B) Modern concept albums
C) Fries and gravy

If you didn't pick "B" then please show yourself out, because not only was that a test of your loyalty and fandom, but also the intro to a rant regarding the subject.

I don't have a problem with concept albums of the 70's and 80's because for the most part they were all about totally crazy shit that was created using the kind of drugs that make you dream up images of battle elves, dragons and colourful spirals. Can you tell me what Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" is about? Probably not, but that's what makes it so good.

Now skip ahead to the music of today. It seems like every other shitty pop punk band has a concept album under their belts, the most notable being Green Day. The reason why I hate these modern concept albums is because I think it's lazy song writing. What's more difficult - writing a bunch of good lyrics inspired by various experiences, expressing a myriad of emotions or 10 songs about some guy walking around his neighbourhood being mad at George Bush? It's like the easy way out. I'm not saying it stinks all the time, but I prefer concepts that leave a little more to the imagination and involve concepts like space, wizards and trolls.

Speaking of albums, let us now take a look at the upcoming Jonas Brothers offering:

It's looks like they're about to embark on the lamest safari of all time.

"Alright guys, we're about to out into the African jungles, now I just wanted to... what the hell are you wearing?"

Then they just stare like that

"uhh okay, did you bring the supplies I asked you to bring?"
"We brought stuff to make s'mores," said Nick.
"Well I guess that can't hurt."
"Where should we put the cheese?" asked Joe.
"For the s'mores. Where should we put our makeup?" said the other guy.

So that's silly.

The title is also kind of strange. It could be the name of a Scott Weiland record. The lines are drugs, the vines are that street in Hollywood and the trying times are like when he almost dies all the time. But seriously..."trying times". These three guys haven't had a trying time in years. They're all young millionaires, they can have any girl in their age bracket and 2 out of the three of them are fairly handsome. A "trying time" for a Jonas brother is when their sunglasses break or when they spill chocolate milk on one of their scarves. Or maybe the "trying times" are all those instances when teen girls with huge gumdrops make their way backstage and offer their bodies and the Jonas' get boners but have vowed celibacy for some reason so their boners last all night. That'd be trying.

This has been the annual music issue of What I Did and How I Am. Next year I have an interview with Fred Durst and all he does is talk about how he met the Wu Tang Clan once. Party off you guys!

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