April 2, 2009

POST 200

If can read, you'll have read the title up there and realized that this is post number 200 out of 200, a milestone worthy of a picture of Dr. Seuss:

He kind of looks like Max Headroom in that picture. Max Headroom was played by Matt Frewer, right? He's one of my most hated actors along with Matthew Lillard. They're cut from the same shitty piece of cloth that gets made into the most annoying shirt of all time. Something like that shirt that says "The Man (up arrow) The Legend (down arrow)" or one of those shirts that say how Italian people are the best. Then again, Italian people have all the right in the world to brag because they dominate many things - food, wine, soccer, fashion, sports cars, architecture, religion, and dumb haircuts.

Was anyone expecting an off-the-wall April Fool's spectacular yesterday? Had I remembered it were April 1st I would've procured one, but since I didn't, I didn't. Besides, around here every day is April Fool's Day combined with Christmas with a pinch of Halloween for flavour and if you don't like it you can climb on top of a van and rot there like a grape that gets turned into a raisin. But raisins are still good to eat even though they're a dead grape, so raisins are the zombies of the food world along with other dried fruits such as apricots and banana chips, the most boring "chip" around. They have the texture of petrified wood and the taste of old bananas. No thanks mom!

My mom used to go to bulk food stores all the time, the ones that smelled like rotten pears and had all these weird things like a case of that fruit that's covered in syrup that tastes like shit and is in Neapolitan ice cream. There was one store that had this peanut butter making machine and we always begged my mom to use it and once she finally caved, but the peanut butter had no sugar and spice in it so it just tasted like mushy peanuts.

Here are what some people had to say about this historic 200th post:

"Listen, I could sit here all day and gab about muscle cars, but I keep that stuff private and so should you."
- George Lucas, director

"My and my sister used to play this game called "Gum Bums" where we'd stick gum to each other's asses and then have our cat eat it off. Great blog."
- Mark Knopfler, musician

"You win some, you lose some. But when you tie, the whole world smiles. When you don't play at all, that's just a safe bet."
- Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager

The next 100 posts will focus more on the construction industry and how recent infrastructure spending has boosted the industry DESPITE the economic downturn. Keep things fresh and don't get sticky!


Mrs. Poland said...

Congrats on #200!! Please keep them coming! I enjoy reading your blogs each day while sitting in my cubicle eating my boring lunch avoiding work and annoying co-workers!

highwaisted said...

my bf gave his boss a note saying " please call mr. lyons when you get in"

and then listed the number for the zoo... so when he calls he says " hi can i speak to mr. lyons?"

haha get it?

his boss didnt fall for it. but he did fall for the mouse stuck to the desk with double sided tape!

Duke of Spook said...

Thanks Maureen, I understand the cubicle life and that's who I fight for!

Duke of Spook said...

Ahhhhhhh gross!! I wasn't foolish at all yesterday. I guess I wasn't prepared. I prank Liv on a daily basis anyway

Livers said...

And that's why I hate your guts. Happy 200th!

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