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July 7, 2009

COOK ME A CRAB DISH OR I'LL FOR SURE DROP THIS HAMSTER INTO THAT GORGE


On Sunday night/Monday morning I was feeling kind of scuzzy and had some trouble sleeping so I tossed and kicked for awhile and had a crazy dream where clones of my friends were at my house and I had to kill them. This must have been my body's way of telling me to expect diarrhea because I awoke Monday morning with diarrhea. Sucks so bad. All day I've had these stabbing abdominal pains and several trips to the toilet room. Is this what it's like to have a menstrual cycle? If so, then that sucks. If my reproductive organs did this to me once a month I'd whine all the time and punch walls.

Woody Allen always dates total babes in his movies. No way Meryl Streep at the peak of her hotness would do that little guy. I guess she turns into a lesbian so maybe that's the point. Manhattan is on right now.


In lieu of me doing nothing worth writing about today but watching the second Lord of the Rings, drinking Gatorade and reading fantasy movies, here is another installment of "This Day in LiveJournal History" featuring a short silly about my sister:

July 7 2001

my sister explained to me today why she might become a vegetarian. You see she used to hate chickens "because they're so stupid and I got pecked really bad by them once at Bronte farm and it was my life long mission to eat them. Then I saw this show on chickens and how they just throw away male chicks because they don't lay eggs and then they feed them to minks and i felt bad. then they showed chickens fighting or something and then i realized they are really stupid after all" then why don;t you want to eat them anymore Laura? Why?

Hopefully I feel better tomorrow, but if not maybe I'll live blog my day which will probably involve more Gatorade.

6 comments:

highwaisted said...

oh man i hope you feel better, having the scoots is the worst buzz ever. but at least you're not barfing at the same time.

Duke of Spook said...

so shitty. I never barf though, so barfing would be a welcome change

lmac said...

Sounds pretty much exactly like cramps to me.

That's an embarrassing little story. I don't have any problem with chickens these days. But that documentary did make chickens look really bad. Not really the chickens themselves, but commercial chicken operations. I no longer blame the chickens for their gross and stupid behaviour. I've grown up.

Duke of Spook said...

hahaha I should've included the rest of the story where you did become a vegetarian but then quit a year later when you smelled raw ground beef passing a butcher shop. And when you ate blood pudding claiming it was okay

lmac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lmac said...

It was actually after I started having dreams with meat in them. The one about dim sum and pork dumplings pushed me over the edge.

Technically, blood isn't meat.

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