A 'TIGER WOODS' IS MILK MIXED WITH BEER

Yesterday I took to the local cineplex for a screening of "Bruno", a movie about a fake gay guy who scares people with flamboyancy.

I really liked "Borat" because it was so silly while also holding a mirror up to American society reflecting an image that rednecks probably didn't like. But Bruno was pretty dumb the whole way through offering little in the way of intelligence. Even the scene where he goes out hunting with a bunch of hicks was disappointing. The down home hunters acted how anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, would've acted if a naked Austrian guy came into their tent at three in the morning, gay or not gay.

All that up there aside, there were still a few laughs and some good scenes, but it probably could have been way better, much like new flavours of Skittles.

So if you liked Borat a bit and have a date coming up, I'd recommend staying in and watching Aliens instead. It's a guaranteed a-ok and your date might grab your sex places in horror depending on how big of a scaredy waredy he or she is.

JON WATCH

Jon Gosselin has been gallivanting around French Riviera draped in sparkle tiger shirts, brandishing cigarettes and hanging off the arm of a 22 year old hussy who was once arrested for possession of weeeeeed. I always defended Jon, but I gotta question these latest moves. I hope he's only in this relationship for the bang banging because it's so clear that this young woman is in it for the fame, celebrity, cash, and riveted tattoo jungle shirts. It's rare that any woman under the age of 30 would get into a relationship with a man who has kids, let alone one with eight. And she's gotta be frightened of Kate, who may be a controlling cow, but at least appears as if she still wants to be a mother. If this new lady tries to step into her role she'd better watch out -

KATE VS. HAILEY GLASSMAN LIVE AT THE MGM GRAND. WINNER GETS CUSTODY OF LEAH, HANNAH AND AIDEN.