STICK A FORK IN MY DVD PLAYER BUT WIPE THE MILK OFF FIRST.

That weekend wins full marks for sunshine and relaxed living. How did I spend it? You're about to find out!

No duh I do this every Monday. If you're new you now know and next Monday you won't be shocked.

On Saturday I went over to my Uncle's house for my cousin's fourth birthday party. I ate pizza, Batman cake and ice cream and watched children playing and saying funny things that adults don't say because we're way smarter. Kids are simple - they like toys, sweet things and fun. Give them that and they won't cry.

After that Liv and I took to Kensington Market to go see my friend Aurora's sssssick Fringe Festival Play "36 Plays About Hopeless Girls". Before we entered the theatre we drank fresh squeezed lemonade and I bought some new five dollar shades that scream "YEAH, ALRIGHT".

For dinner that night myself and friend Andrew went to the Black Hoof to experience their meat. We ate so many different and wonderful cured meats along with delicious cheeses and then hit some roasted bone marrow and calf brain ravioli. We ate olives too. In the olden days people ate that shit like us future men eat Smarties so it's no big deal. I dare you to eat toe nails. I wonder if they have nutritional value. Probably have some starch at least. Or betacarotine.

After that we went to another Carlsberg party thanks to Andy. The hosts graciously provided a keg as well so there was a lot of drinking beer happening. The great thing about parties is that they provide a space for fun no matter what your style. But if your style is being stupid then get outta the party.

My favourite McDonald's character is Fry Guy. That was Denzel Washington's nickname on the set of "Remember The Titans".